Overcoming Shyness: 11 Ideas for Effective Networking for the Introvert

July 30, 2024 | Uncategorized

I’ve heard that the two things people fear the most are snakes and public speaking. I think throwing yourself into a room of complete strangers and talking about yourself and your company has to be up there too. This can be especially challenging for introverts. Talking to complete strangers is scary enough, and then there’s the added pressure of having to talk about your achievements and skills. We’ve been conditioned since we were kids that bragging was bad, so it’s hard to shift gears and effectively network. While I’ve seen individuals become successful without networking, for me, learning how to effectively network was what made my business take off. Furthermore, some of the most successful government contractors are masters at it. 

Here are some tricks that have helped me along the way. The fear of approaching strangers and starting conversations can hinder opportunities to connect with others, but there are strategies to overcome shyness and become a confident networker. Here are some tactics to help you break out of your shell and make meaningful connections.

1. Preparation and Practice

Before attending a networking event, it’s important to research the attendees, speakers, and topics that will be discussed. Having knowledge about the event and the people attending can provide conversation starters and reduce anxiety. Practice your introduction and elevator pitch in front of a mirror or with a friend to build confidence. The more familiar you are with what you want to say, the easier it will be to approach others. If possible, go to an event where you already know a bunch of people. It may be an intercompany event or a social group you’re familiar with. Tell them what you’re up to and practice with them. Another great way to overcome shyness is to start posting videos about your expertise and posting them on social media. 

2. Set Realistic Goals

Set small, achievable goals for the event. Instead of trying to meet everyone, aim to have a few meaningful conversations. This approach reduces the pressure and makes the task seem less overwhelming. For instance, plan to meet three new people or have one in-depth conversation during the event.

3. Arrive Early

I find that arriving early to a gathering has its benefits, especially for someone who tends to be on the reserved side. The atmosphere is usually more relaxed and less crowded, making socializing much easier. Early arrivals often share a sense of uncertainty, which can actually make it more comfortable to start conversations with others.

4. Leverage Social Media

Before the event, it’s a great idea to leverage social media platforms such as LinkedIn to connect with fellow attendees. Engaging in conversations, commenting on posts, and introducing yourself online can help you establish a rapport with others who will be attending the event. This proactive approach can make it easier to approach familiar faces during the event and alleviate any anxiety about starting from scratch. Many upcoming events have specific hashtags that they encourage attendees to use in their social media posts. By searching and using these hashtags, you can find and connect with other attendees. Reach out to them and consider suggesting meeting up for a coffee during the event or attending a social gathering together. These online connections can lay the groundwork for valuable in-person interactions at the event.

5. Find a Wingman

If possible, attend the event with a colleague or friend, as there’s definitely strength in numbers. Having someone you know by your side can provide moral support and make you feel more comfortable. Your wingman can help introduce you to others and share the responsibility of starting conversations. Plus, it’s always great to have someone familiar to connect with in new situations. A friend or colleague can also offer a fresh perspective on things, and you can both support and encourage each other throughout the event. 

6. Ask Open-Ended Questions

When engaging in conversation, asking open-ended questions is a great way to encourage the other person to talk more, which can relieve the pressure of keeping the conversation going solely on your end. Open-ended questions like, “What would make this a successful conference for you?” or “What are the most effective ways you network?” can lead to more in-depth and engaging discussions. These questions allow the other person to express themselves more freely and can help you connect with them on a deeper level.

7. Listen Actively

Using active listening in networking not only involves paying attention to what the other person is saying but also showing genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings. It’s important to ask open-ended questions, nod, and maintain eye contact to demonstrate that you are fully engaged in the conversation. By doing so, you create a comfortable and welcoming environment for the other person to express themselves. This approach can lead to meaningful connections and more fruitful networking interactions.

8. Use Body Language

When it comes to projecting confidence through body language, it’s all about appearing approachable and friendly. Standing tall, making eye contact, and wearing a smile can make a significant impact on how others perceive you. It’s important to be mindful of your body language, especially if you’re feeling nervous, as people can pick up on your emotions. Focusing on your breathing can help calm your nerves and focus. While a moderate amount of alcohol can help you relax, be careful not to overdo it, as you want to remain in control of your actions. Too much alcohol can backfire and make you feel more out of sorts. 

9. Take Breaks

Networking can be incredibly draining, especially for introverts who may find large social gatherings overwhelming. It’s crucial to recognize when you’re feeling exhausted and allow yourself to take breaks. Stepping outside for some fresh air, grabbing a drink to hydrate, or finding a quiet corner to collect your thoughts can make a significant difference in helping you recharge. By giving yourself permission to take these breaks, you can effectively reduce stress and maintain your energy levels throughout the event. Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your well-being and take the necessary time to regroup.

10. Follow Up

After attending a networking event, it’s important to follow up with the people you’ve met. Sending a quick LinkedIn message or email to express your gratitude for the conversation and to reaffirm your interest in connecting further can help solidify the connections you’ve made. It’s also a great opportunity to mention something specific from your conversation, which demonstrates your attentiveness and genuine interest. Following up in a timely manner shows professionalism and can set the stage for productive future interactions. Remember, networking is not just about making initial contact, but also about nurturing and developing those connections over time.

11. Be Yourself

Embracing authenticity is vital, as trying to be someone else only leads to increased anxiety. Shyness shouldn’t be seen as a weakness; instead, it can be leveraged as a strength. Shy individuals often exude thoughtfulness and genuineness, two qualities highly valued in networking. In the realm of business, authenticity can be a game-changer. Clients and colleagues are naturally drawn to genuine interactions. By shedding pretense and embracing authenticity, I personally found greater success. This demonstrates the power of being true to oneself in professional endeavors, ultimately leading to more meaningful and trusting relationships.

I know I used to say, “Going to networking events just isn’t me. I will find other ways to build my business.” What I really think I was saying is, “I’m scared to death to go to networking events and be myself.” I recognize now that if I get better at it, my business will improve. 

Just because you’re shy, doesn’t mean you can’t be awesome at networking. Some of the best networkers I know are true introverts. Once the day’s over, they love nothing more than to relax alone.  But they have practiced enough and feel comfortable being around people when it’s necessary. 

Want a safe space to practice all the above? Just schedule a meeting with me!

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